If he breaks your heart
I will break his legs
If he takes the piss
I will break his face
If he fucks it up
I will kill him stone cold dead
If he breaks your heart
Will I stand a chance?
I've been listening to this all weekend. It's called "If he breaks your heart" by Jeremy Warmsley and its heartbreakingly beautiful, especially once you look up the lyrics (he doesn't annunciate marvellously at points, but its gorgeous nevertheless.) It's struck a chord with me, for some reason or another.
If he takes the piss
I will break his face
If he fucks it up
I will kill him stone cold dead
If he breaks your heart
Will I stand a chance?
I've been listening to this all weekend. It's called "If he breaks your heart" by Jeremy Warmsley and its heartbreakingly beautiful, especially once you look up the lyrics (he doesn't annunciate marvellously at points, but its gorgeous nevertheless.) It's struck a chord with me, for some reason or another.
This weekend varied in good-ness (crude wording, but whatever.) I jollied off to Lakeside with my mother and sister on Friday (prompting the frequent use of the "What's an Essex girl's favourite wine/whine?" "I wanna go Lakesiiiiiide" by my ever witty father) to pick my sister out a prom dress (she's approaching the end of year 11.) As strange as it may seem, I really enjoy "road-trips" to infrequently / never before visited locations. I like to travel unfamiliar roads and stuff, and I took a little video of the motorway, and photos of my feet, and the back of my sisters chair, and things like that. Just because it kept me amused. On the whole it was a good day, asides from being a little dull waiting for Helen to try things on (see the bored child below - I was admiring my new sandals in a pathetic vain girly way) and the fact that we had pizza for lunch and I'm lactose intolerant so felt unwell for about 2 hours afterwards.
However, I saw someone (who shall remain unnamed) that I didn't expect to see just as we were leaving Lakeside. And as per usual, he either didn't see me or ignored my presence. And as per usual, it ruined my day. Its funny how you force your life to move on from something, and then the smallest thing like that can make you feel so tiny and insignificant, the way it always does, and you fear it always will. And just like that, a seemingly good day turned into a sad one, and there was nothing I could do to make it better. However, I was mildly cheered up on the way home buy this gem on the M25...
My mother suggested that instead his numberplate should have been "TO55A" as he drove like one, but she did accelerate when asked so that I could photograph the numberplate from a close-up range, probably out of guilt for yelling at me because I jokingly asked if I could try some crazy shoes on whilst waiting for my sister...
However, I saw someone (who shall remain unnamed) that I didn't expect to see just as we were leaving Lakeside. And as per usual, he either didn't see me or ignored my presence. And as per usual, it ruined my day. Its funny how you force your life to move on from something, and then the smallest thing like that can make you feel so tiny and insignificant, the way it always does, and you fear it always will. And just like that, a seemingly good day turned into a sad one, and there was nothing I could do to make it better. However, I was mildly cheered up on the way home buy this gem on the M25...
My mother suggested that instead his numberplate should have been "TO55A" as he drove like one, but she did accelerate when asked so that I could photograph the numberplate from a close-up range, probably out of guilt for yelling at me because I jokingly asked if I could try some crazy shoes on whilst waiting for my sister...SATURDAY
Was nothing special.
Was nothing special.
It started by having allergic reaction to some fake tan at my first saturday job, the soap shop LUSH. It looked lovely and brown on my arm, until all of a sudden it started to burn, and my arm went all red and lumpy. Not so "summer sexy." Then I met my sister when I finished work, and we went and sat by the River Chelmer and ate chinese and enjoyed the sun. And I mockingly threw a sandwich into the river, and then accidentally did, so climbed over the wooden rail to carefully get it back as I was afraid that a duck might try and eat the sandwich, and choke on the plastic wrapper, and in the process got some nasty nettle stings that are still on my lower legs now (I'm writing this on a sunday evening...) Me and Helen don't really hang out much outside of the house, especially not without fighting, so it was nice to spend time together and laugh lots and discover that our chinese containers were microwaveable, silly things like that. Then I went back to work, at my second job (I'm a barmaid.) That was less dull than usual, I left on time (ish) and went home to do a quick ink and water drawing of my sister for my art coursework. As I said, nothing special.
SUNDAY
It started, and will inevitably end with tears.
SUNDAY
It started, and will inevitably end with tears.
Hysterical, uncontrolled sobbing at the breakfast table, fortunately without any siblings present, just two concerned parents and a mess that vaguely resembled me.
It happens now and again, I just let everything out, because I've lost the ability to cry. I mean, of course I cry every now and then, I shed a small tear at a film or something trivial, but i can't REALLY cry about it. And this morning I did. Because I was sad, and lonely, and angry. About so many things I couldn't even begin to explain to the two confused adults sat across the kitchen from me. Then I went to work, and got steadily drunker as the afternoon progressed, but not in a bad way. There was live music on at the pub, and everyone seemed cheerful, and there was no place for my sadness, so I put it in a box and got on with it, sometimes you just have to.
It happens now and again, I just let everything out, because I've lost the ability to cry. I mean, of course I cry every now and then, I shed a small tear at a film or something trivial, but i can't REALLY cry about it. And this morning I did. Because I was sad, and lonely, and angry. About so many things I couldn't even begin to explain to the two confused adults sat across the kitchen from me. Then I went to work, and got steadily drunker as the afternoon progressed, but not in a bad way. There was live music on at the pub, and everyone seemed cheerful, and there was no place for my sadness, so I put it in a box and got on with it, sometimes you just have to.
(if he breaks your heart - such a good song! and a great video aswell) =)
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